It takes a village

Raising kids is hard.

It’s amazing and fulfilling work. But it’s hard. It’s not an easy task by any means.

There’s a very famous proverbial saying which is apparently attributable to one of the major groups – Igbo or Yoruba – in Nigeria. The saying goes:  

“It takes a whole village to raise a child.”

A lot of people have heard the saying but it really makes sense once you have kids.

I’m an immigrant to the US. I originally was looking at moving to the US for work and then met and fell in love with a beautiful woman I met on one of my trips to the US. I ended up moving to the US for love. Unfortunately things didn’t work out for us but we have a beautiful baby boy that we’re now raising in a co-parenting situation. 

Raising kids is hard.

Raising kids as a single parent is even harder.

Raising kids as a single parent as an immigrant in a country where you have no family is harder still.  

This is where the village comes in.

I have been blessed in having a wonderful and supportive community who are all playing a part in raising my son.

This is not by accident though. I have been very intentional in looking for a broader community for my son and I.

Growing up in New Zealand in a Maori community I was raised in a communal setting where much of my child rearing was done by members of my extended family – aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and so on – not just my biological parents.

Growing up in this multi-generational setting I feel that I was exposed to a broad range of life experiences that I would not have experienced had I been raised primarily by my biological parents. Though I do love them very much!!  

Each individual who played a part in raising me contributed a different part to who I am as a man today.

I want this for my son too.

Each of the people involved in our broader community here contributes a different strength that they are able to convey to my son.

These people come from all walks of lives. All are friends though they come from a wide variety of backgrounds and span a range of generations. This is the strength of our community.

Some are friends from work. Some are friends from sport clubs and other hobbies. Some are friends from church. All, however, want the best for my son.

I intentionally arrange play dates with all the members of our community – from kids through to grandparents. They speak to my son in a range of languages and work with me to expose him to a broad and diverse range of experiences.

I aim to raise my son to the best man that he can be. In doing this I am building on not only the experiences that I am able to provide as his father but also the wisdom of all the other people involved in his life.

It really does take a village to raise a child.  

After all – I don’t think there is such a thing as a baby being loved by too many people!!