On providing experiences for our kids: not just things – and rides on city buses (big green ones!)
As parents we want to provide the best we can for our children. But in the modern West – because many of us are blessed to be able to operate in a space of plenty – we tend to buy a lot of material things for our children. While, of course, there is nothing wrong with buying things for our children I tend to think that we’re missing out on providing other sorts of opportunities for our children if this is our major focus.
What I mostly mean by these ‘other’ opportunities are experiences.
Recent research has shown that “experiences tend to make people happier because they are less likely to measure the value of their experiences by comparing them to those of others.“
This holds true for our children as well as for adults. As a recent article in the Atlantic stated: “even a bad experience becomes a good story.”
It’s not just about happiness though. I think there are other valuable ways in which we ought to try and increase the range of experiences we provide our children rather than just the material things, such as toys, that we’re able to buy them.
One of these reasons is a pure value judgment on my behalf. I think if we’re not careful – and we focus mainly on buying things for our children – then we’re not able to provide an effective environment for our children to learn a range of values such as gratitude, of understanding what it is that we have, and of understanding when one has enough. These are values of vital importance on a global scale for us to impart to our children to ensure that we are able to live sustainably within our means on this planet. Secondly, these experiences provide so many opportunities for our little ones to learn – and ideally learn with us!
Bringing the discussion back to our specific situation here in the Pacific Northwest – one of my little one’s favorite things is going on the city bus. He just loves it!
It provides a source of so much information, engagement and learning for him. Riding up so high he can see so much more of the city and even more of the road. Sitting next to me (because being a ‘big boy’ he needs his own seat!!) he can see so many things. It’s a lot of fun as he calls out the things he sees as we ride along:
Blue bus!
Green bus!
Lellow truck!
Big truck!
This provides us so many opportunities to learn about the world. We can name things. We can count things. We can talk about sizes and colors. We get so many opportunities to learn together. You can do the same things with taking a walk together – he just likes to do it in a bus. Or, as he says “big green bus!”
We often take the bus to Pike Place Market as that provides other opportunities for him to see lots of different things and hear different sounds and meet different people. He’s pretty shy when he meets people but sitting on my shoulders he’s yelling in my ear about the fun things he sees or he wants me to show him.
These experiences that I am able to provide for him – which in this case, just costs the price of a bus ticket – provide invaluable opportunities for us to learn together.
By providing our children with experiences – in addition to providing material things for them (as we’re able) – we provide them with different forms of sensory engagement. This is positive for their overall development in a number of ways. Stimulating their senses like this sends signals to their brains which help to strengthen their various neural pathways which are important for all types of learning. This is a wonderful gift we’re able to provide them.
At base, providing these types of experiences for our kids – and it need not be as complicated as a holiday away or even a bus ride, it can be as simple as going for walks with them – provide so much value for the entire family unit. It provides developmental opportunities for our kids and opportunities to connect for those adults who care for and love them. It’s a win-win situation. So let’s do more of this, particularly on big green buses!!
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